The Glass Coffin

The Colonel died in a fire fight.

She was everything to us, the brigade.

She was always first. Always in the lead.

She was our hero.

When a flag officer dies, we have to pick someone. They have to watch the body burn. Everyone else can look away. Can cry. Can tear their clothing and pull out their hair.

But the one who watches the body burn has to stand at attention the whole time.

Watch the body blacken and burn. Watch the fat melt, watch the bones turn to dust. It can take up to three hours.

The General enters the room.

"Brigade!" She shouts.

"Brigade!" is echoed.

"Centerrrr, FACE" they all turn towards it.

Our hero is in a class coffin.

"Let the Witness fall out!" the General said.

I fall out.

The general is at the foot of the glass coffin and I meet her there.

"Do you accept this responsibility as the witness, soldier?" The General asks. She towers over me. Her face is scarred on the left side but her eyes are sharp.

"Ma'am, I accept it." I salute sharply.

"Do not let me down again." She sneers.

"I will not, Ma'am." I say.

She spits in my face. I'm not allowed to wipe it off until after it is over.

"All except the Witness? Aboouuut FACE!"

I hear their heals turn and snap.

I hear a hissing noise. I see this colonel, who made us all soldiers, I see the glass coffin fill with gas. That distortion of air, fills it. It swirls around, and I watch it.

I know what happens next.

She told me once, "Get it together, you're going to see worse than this."

She was right. 

So I watch her body burn. At attention. Not moving. Not crying. The entire brigade wails in agony. She was everything to us. She was kind. She was tough. She was everything a good soldier needed.

Her hair went first, of course. She had tight cornrows which she would get for the combat zone.

Then her uniform started to burn.

A soldier pulled out their sidearm and shot himself in the head.

That hurt my feelings, because they knew full well that if I couldn't hold it together, decimation would happen.

Her dark skin darkened further and burned away, the embers crawled over her. It was worse than seeing her die because it was much, much slower.

I saw her body become a thing.

An object.

I didn't budge. I didn't cry. I stood there like she would have wanted.

She loved this brigade. I would not let it be decimated. No. She was the greatest commander we had ever seen.

For her I would feel nothing for the good of the brigade.

Everyone cleared out after a time. The colonel's bones are almost gone.

The general walks up to me and says "Ad ease, rest." 

"It's not done, Ma'am..." I said.

"It's done for you. You prevented the decimation,"she says.

She puts her arm around me and she is... massive.

Not just in physique but in style.

"You are rare, you know that?" she said. 

"I guess. That was... difficult." I said. 

"It was...and you did well. Really? You did better than anyone. This is the first brigade that didn't get decimation since the war. So, I have to ask." she said. "Was she fucking you?" 

I blushed to my ears and looked at the floor.

"No, no Ma'am, she wasn't. She.. it wasn't like that. She made us all feel like we belong. She knew just... just a little bit about us all." I said. I was still looking at my feet.

"What about the one that shot himself?" the General asked.

"I... I don't know. I was standing at attention... I'll have see the body and tell you." I said.

"That's a good answer. Congratulations, Colonel, you're the new commander of the 2nd Expeditionary."

"But Ma'am! I'm a corporal!" I shouted. 

The general drew herself up, like smoke rising from a very hot fire and asked: "Do you decline this honor?"

"No... No Ma'am... I just wish I was better..." I said... looking at my feet again.

"Listen, Colonel," she took my chin in her hand and lifted my eyes to hers "You got what it takes, the company loves you now because of the ritual that you did well.

I'll get you what you need. Do you trust me?"

"Yes, Ma'am." I said.

"Good girl." the General said.

I went back to my quarters. Got undressed. Hung up my dress uniform. Put my underclothes in the bin. 

Naked under my wool blanket... I finally let myself cry.